Detour to India

While working on our China dossier, a friend from India approached us. His father-in-law is a very well-connected physician in New Delhi. (The Prime Minister was at his daughter's wedding.) They asked us if we would be open to adopting through India, another country where female children are often not valued.

A girl was born then, and the physician was aware of her. Apparently, the father of the baby was upset as she was the fifth female child born and told the mother to leave and "not come home with her." (I'm not going into what that usually means in India.) The mother made the best decision she could and abandoned her with a female relative. Both parents were willing to sign whatever paperwork we needed to adopt the baby.

We first worked with the physician in India to make sure she was healthy. We had to name her as no one had done this. We named her Sonia, as this name would be appropriate for both India and the US. Sonia was also the name of a Prime Minister's wife who fought for women's rights. (Looking back, at least she may know that someone cared enough to give her a name.)

From the beginning, we knew that the problems would not be with India but with the US government. It seemed perfect for a short time. My Aunt Suzanne had a friend in the US embassy who had a friend in the Indian embassy, and they were able to put us in contact with the correct people in India.

After multiple phone calls with the embassy personnel (they do not speak English as a primary language), we were told it would be very difficult to prove that Sonia met the criteria for a US visa. Ralph has a patient who works for Senator Harry Reid (now the majority leader). They were able to contact immigration staff in the US. They said Sonia didn't meet the criteria for immigration since both her parents were still alive, but we could hire a very good and very expensive attorney and might be able to bring her here in 5 years. (Oh yeah, the other option was I could move to India for 2 years and then bring her home.)

India was an exercise in futility. We were both disappointed the adoption didn't work out. Sonia was finally declared "orphaned" and immediately placed into the Indian adoption system, where her prospects are bleak. It especially affected Ralph. We still have her picture and medical history in an unopened envelope in the file cabinet. I can't bear to either open it or throw it away.