Taiwan Culture

Here are some interesting things we have seen or learned about. Some is just general interest, probably due to all those years of education, and much is due to trying to understand Anna's birth mother's situation. Dena and their family had their Gotcha Day yesterday. From what Dena said in the few minutes we had to talk, Tessa, her daughter, comes from a lower working-class family. Her birth mother was younger than ours by several years. The birth family had visited the baby several times and was very concerned that Tessa was going to a good home. They wanted to make sure she would be well cared for and asked that they bring her back to Taiwan.

It has been bothering me that Dena met the entire birth family and we were not even given a picture. The agency only said that mom is 19 and in college and the family wants her to "move on". We didn't think to ask at the time if the family had visited, but TWCA gave the strong impression that the birth mom and her family had nothing to do with Anna. In all honesty, I don't believe they will even pick up the gifts and letters we left for her. So, being me, I have been trying to understand the circumstances of where Anna came from.

YuanYuan was so kind to answer all my questions about education and family life in Taiwan. I hadn't mentioned it earlier, but she was trained as a teacher and went into journalism. She was the foreign correspondent for a Taiwan station and lived in Germany and San Francisco for several years. She was then a newscaster here and then went into executive management. She was very knowledgeable on many topics.

YuanYuan said many people attend college and graduate school and have higher degrees. Students must attend high school, have several hours of tutoring after school, and pass a standard test to get into college. Sciences are encouraged. She said the birth mom would have had to take a year off school while she was pregnant but that she could restart after Anna was born.

YuanYuan said the cost of living has become very high here. Annual income, she guessed, is $15,000 here and $30,000 in the US. Housing is costly. Many families do not cook at all as it is less expensive to eat out. Most couples both work full-time outside the home. Taiwan now has a 5-day work week, down from 6, but I know the girls at our "members-only club" at the hotel work 6 days a week. Many young families choose not to have children due to the costs. That is very hard to understand to me, given in the Asian culture, family is everything.

Unwed pregnancy and motherhood are still socially unacceptable in Taiwan. Many people we have spoken to said adoption is not frequent here. When it does occur, it is usually from a family member or kept a secret. It sounds like the US in the 1950s. Adoption is also an expensive and difficult court process. We heard of 1 very well-off family who couldn't have a child. They adopted their brother's baby, but it was a long, drawn-out process.

YuanYuan's impression is that Anna is from a professional family as they were able to afford the tutoring to get into college. She said their birth mother must be very brave and motivated to have gotten where she is. Her thought is that the birth family is protecting their daughter and her future and they will put this behind them and move on. The one thing I get teary about is when I think that family is so important in Taiwan and that Anna's family has most likely not seen her as part of that family and has had nothing to do with her.

On the positive side, that makes us realize how much better Anna's life will be with us. She has so many family and friends waiting to meet her and she will have so many opportunities she would never have here.

On the lighter side, here is another observation or two.

Traffic: I was incorrect on my first post about scooters and helmets. It must have been a weekend thing where people were not wearing helmets. I have only seen 1 person since without one. Many people do wear surgical-type masks. We think this is for the pollution. While there is smog and pollution, it is not as bad as we were expecting. It still appears the white lines on the road are fashion statements at worst and general guidelines at the most. I have most often sat in the middle of the van and am often directly over the white line for much of the trip. At stoplights, all the cars squeeze in as close as they can. So many times, we thought, "They'll never make it," but they always do. At lights, even the "yellow line" is a general guideline. People frequently cross over it to get to the stop light. While the cars are jockeying for position, the scooters somehow eek around and get to the front of the line, in front of where you are supposed to stop. When the light changes, the scooters go first, followed by the cars. You have to be careful crossing the street. The "little green man" at the lights that tells you to walk is also apparently a general guideline. While driving, people change lanes without notice. It is up to the others to avoid you. We have often crossed several lanes of traffic for a right-hand turn. All that being said, we have seen only 1 person driving like a maniac. People are very respectful in their chaos and we haven't heard any horns, yelling or interesting gestures. It is all very polite.

I went to the bakery to buy Dena and her family a cake yesterday. I found a perfect chocolate and cherry cake with baby feet on top. I hope they enjoyed it; they deserved it after a long day. It was a several-block walk to find the bakery. While traffic is always stressful, I felt safe walking around town. In Taipei itself, we don't get as many blatant stares. At least in this area, I feel very comfortable walking alone. Even if we go back to the Jade Market in the evening, I would feel safe. There are not as nice areas, but I feel much better here than I do any day in LA or San Francisco.

We're off to AIT now for Anna's visa. They said they would call if there was a problem so we hope things are OK. After that, it's just a few days of touring, then home!